What I’ve Learned After Publishing 2,759 Pieces of Content
Two thousand seven hundred fifty nine pieces of content across four sex blogs. That’s a lot of damn content. I don’t share this number to make anyone think it should be a goal to achieve. It’s not!
None of this content was created overnight, and I don’t think every single word of it is amazing and perfect. But the sheer number has to mean something — even if only to me.
Counting 2,759 Sex Blog Posts
I began sex blogging back in 2012 so we’re talking seven years of content as of the date of publication. I also have four websites where I consistently create content. Not everyone has (or even should have) multiple websites. Please do not compare your blog to this number. That’s NOT the purpose at all.
To be fully transparent, it breaks down like this:
KaylaLords.com: 1904 blog posts (since 2012)
Masturbation Monday: 300 blog posts, 38 podcast episodes (since 2014)
Loving BDSM: 136 blog posts, 168 podcasts (since 2015)
The Smutlancer: 163 blog posts, 50 podcast episodes (since 2017)
That doesn’t include pages on the sites or the (rare) trashed content I didn’t keep. I’m also not including the YouTube videos I’ve made for Loving BDSM. Why? Because while it would make the number bigger, I don’t think it adds to the general conversation. Let’s stick with these websites.
I didn’t do it completely on my own. Loving BDSM exists with the help of John Brownstone. If he didn’t support my dreams and give me space to create, none of the other sites would be here, either.
I’m always learning and discovering new things, but I think creating this much content has taught me a few things. Which is what I want to share with you. Your lessons and education will be different, no matter how much content you create over time. Hopefully it’ll help you through those moments when you wonder why the hell you bother sex blogging at all.
It Takes Time and Effort
Girl on the Net said the simplest but most profound thing during her session at Eroticon 2019 this year. When talking about driving traffic to your site and growing your audience, she said, “It just takes time and effort.” No magic. Nothing special. It’s the easiest and most difficult thing all at the same time. The magic happens later, when you connect with someone because you did the work.
Want to create a lot of content? All you need is time and effort.
We All Suck in the Beginning
Think your work sucks compared to [insert name of favorite blogger]? Guess what? Their first few (dozen) posts sucked, too — at least to them. You don’t get better until you do the thing. You have to write the blog post, record the podcast, make the video, build the product. And it will never be as good as you want it to be — but with each piece of content you make, you get closer to what you envision.
After all this time, I sometimes hate what I write or say, but sometimes I also realize I’ve said the perfect thing or strung words together and made magic.
Habit Beats Inspiration
I love being inspired. All of my best (and worst) ideas came from inspiration. But inspiration is the spark. You still have to get the work done. How did I create so much content? Sheer dumb luck and dogged determination. I set blogging schedules and stick to them as best as I can. Those schedules change over time to fit my life (personal and professional) but the schedule is part of the habit. Even when I’m not quite sure what to write, I know I need to sit at the keyboard. Sometimes I start typing aimlessly and sometimes I write that stupid thing I assume no one cares about.
The point isn’t to have people love every thing I create. The point is to have the habit of creation. I live by a to-do list and my routine. Blogging is part of that — and has been from the beginning.
Experimentation is Your Friend
Think you’re only supposed to create content about a single topic? Think again! Not sure you “should” or “can” make a certain type of content? You’ll never know until you do. After 100 weeks of writing (probably awful) erotic haikus, I turned it into a book of self-published poetry. It was an experiment I tried that lead to something else. I’ve also tried membership sites, too. I no longer have either of the ones I created. It was an experiment that didn’t work out — for now.
People are paying a lot less attention to you than you think they are. Try the thing you can’t stop thinking about or that interests you. If it doesn’t work, stop doing it. If it does, keep going. You never know what will happen because of it.
You Won’t Always Be So Scared
I’m an anxious person who’s very risk-averse so I tend be worried or scared all the time. A lot of creative people are anxious (shout-out to Cara Thereon and her Anxious Writers Club panel at Eroticon). Here’s what I’ve learned…I’ve never stopped being anxious from the first blog post to now. After all this time, I’m just scared of different things.
Writing and hitting publish doesn’t scare me anymore. Saying the wrong thing or using offensive, non-inclusive language does. Create your content long enough and the thing you’re scared of today may not be so scary over time.
Your Confidence Will Grow
Yeah, I’m still anxious about stuff, but I’ve also got a lot more confidence than in the past. Not every moment of every day, and sometimes my knees knock about the same thing that makes me think, “I’m a bad-ass!” But I also know what I’m capable of because I know what I’ve already done.
Even if you’ve published five blog posts, you’ve got something to be confident about. What? That you published at all! Now you know you can — get down with your badass self! [Insert goofy mom dance here.]
You Never Stop Learning
None of us will ever know it all — not about life and not about sex blogging. There’s always something more to learn. If you’re like me, it’ll make you anxious because you know you don’t know it all. Others take their lack of knowledge in stride (I wish I had that superpower). Either way, it means that you’re never really done, either.
I’ve spent the past five or six years of my sex blogging career paying close attention to what the vanilla blogging world does — so that I can apply it to the sex blogging world. Not everything translates (I’m looking at you, Facebook ads), but some things do. When I go to Eroticon, I learn something new even on topics I know very well. I love discovering new things to try and ways to grow as a blogger. That’s part of the fun!
You’re Not Alone
I hate to say “all” because nothing is every “all” or “none” — because it’s a spectrum. But after talking to hundreds of bloggers over the years, I feel I can say “all of us” worry about something. That feeling you’re not good enough, doing enough, tweeting enough? Not alone. We’re all trying to build something that didn’t exist before and share a piece of ourselves with the world (who may reject it and us).
And if I could ever impart one bit of knowledge it would be this: You’re not alone. From worrying about whether you’re spending enough time promoting your work to wondering if you suck as a sex blogger, we’ve all had some version of whatever it is you’re worried about.
Should you aspire to 2,759 pieces of blog content? Probably not. The point isn’t to hit a specific number. The point is to do what matters to you, follow a passion, and to make the world a more sex-positive place. And you can do that in 5 pieces of content or 1000 pieces of content — but first you have to get started.
I also plan to share what I’ve learned working as a freelancer, and because I’m a nerd like that, I’ll have a number to go with that, too!