Do You Need a Pen Name as a Sex Writer?

Kayla Lords

I am an erotic author, sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, an opinionated marketer, and a speaker with a focus on BDSM and D/s. Here at The Smutlancer, I help people who want to create content or products about sex get paid to do it. I'm sharing what I've learned as a freelancer and a sex blogger to build a career. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences and helping kinksters have healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone.

10 Responses

  1. Mischa Eliot says:

    Pen names are hard. You want something that flows, something memorable, something easy to spell. (Do you know how many people spell Mischa wrong (even when it’s right in front of them)? Including me because I type like Kermit in that one gif?)

    I love my pen name though. I chose to spell it Mischa because it’s less-widely used from what I can tell. More often than not, you see Misha. I chose it because a coworker calls me Mischa (yes, they know I use it as my pen name, too).

    There are all kinds of pen names that aren’t names, so we aren’t limited. A simple google search will help anyone who wants to see the names that are a bit more out on the fringe.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I really think that if you love it and it feels right, it’s the right pen name for you. If we spend too much time worrying about getting it “right,” that’s time we’re not spending on the work itself. 🙂

  2. jor Adam says:

    My writers-alias is created by shortening my nickname and using the abreviation of my place of birth, Amsterdam ( short A’dam-Adam).
    I like the sound of it, because, as a man, I could be Your Adam …

  3. toyforsir says:

    I started my blog with the title because that is my name from Daddy and I write primarily about he and I. When I start to get serious about my writing (scared to make that step) I will probably use a pen name. I have no idea what it will be but will definately keep these thoughts on mind.

  4. Misty says:

    I’m so undecided on writing under a pen name or under my real name. I’m undecided because of all the reasons you posted about, but also because I’m hoping to reach women who are afraid of their sexuality and I want to teach them how not to be. How can I do that if I’m hiding under a fake name? I’d be a hypocrite. But then again, my mom, my kids, my in-laws!

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I can understand being torn, but let me point a few things out…

      I reached you and got you thinking about writing and your pen name? Yes? I’m writing under a pen name.
      Sex bloggers reach their audiences every single day talking about some of the most personal aspects of their sex lives and most of them write under a pen name.

      A pen name is a boundary that you’re establishing. Personally, I am more myself under my pen name than I am under my legal name. There’s a freedom (for me) in being able to safeguard my personal information and then going out and sharing details of my life. I started my personal blog discussing my own burgeoning sexuality (at 32, post-divorce like MANY women do), and it was absolutely me, and I managed to reach people.

      The name you use matters very little — it’s what you share and how authentic you are when you do it.

      Ultimately, you have to do what is best for you and what feels right, but a pen name does not make you a hypocrite or a fake.

  5. Misty says:

    You are so right! It doesn’t matter what name I use, as long as I’m reaching people! Misty is my alter ego, she has less inhibitions than my usual shy self, so obviously she’s the one that should be writing.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: