The Compare and Contrast Thing We All Do SL005

In episode 5, I discuss a bad habit that a lot of creative people have – and as a sex blogger, I know I do it. We compare ourselves to others and decide there’s something wrong with us. Sometimes the insecurity of jealousy makes us not like the other person but most often, we find something in ourselves lacking. We tell ourselves we’re not as good as they are and we never will be.

The compare and contrast thing is something we all do, and it’s something we should all do less of.

In this episode:

  • This week’s episode is sponsored by Blubrry, a podcast hosting solution.
  • At some point in our creative lives, we all compare ourselves to someone else we see.
  • The saying, “Don’t compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter 10” is accurate.
  • You aren’t them, and they aren’t you.
  • It’s okay to see someone you admire and decide you want your own version of what you think they have. Go ahead and aspire to something more.
  • It’s not good to think you have to be like any other blogger or creative person and that if (and when) you aren’t, you’re not good enough.
  • Even I do it. I get busy with client work but feel bad when I don’t pitch a publication or have my name on something.
  • When you think, “I could have written that” then go do it. But if you think, “I’ll never be that good” that’s a problem.
  • I don’t have a magic cure except to continue creating your thing. Keep pitching ideas. Keep building your audience. Many times when I’m feeling like I’m not doing enough – or I’m not as good as I could be – it’s a random comment or email from a reader telling me I helped them that reminds me that I do have an impact.

Links from the show:

How to Pitch Your Idea to a Website – use code KaylaLords to get one month free!

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Kayla Lords

Kayla Lords is a freelance sex writer, podcaster, blogger, all-around sex content creating human, and she really likes creating content. As a writer, she focuses on sex and kink primarily on BDSM and power exchange. She works with private clients to write their content and manage their social media, while also co-hosting two podcasts, running a YouTube channel, and managing multiple blogs. Let's just say, she stays busy and wants to keep it that way. Kayla is an international speaker and an award-winning sex blogger. She believes we are stronger together as a community than we are isolated and apart. We all deserve to get paid for the work we do, but until we understand our cumulative power, we'll all wonder if we're "the only one" doing this smutlancing thing.

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