What I Learned About the Sex Blogging Community from a Cross-Stitch Convention

Kayla Lords

Kayla Lords is a freelance sex writer, podcaster, blogger, all-around sex content creating human, and she really likes creating content. As a writer, she focuses on sex and kink primarily on BDSM and power exchange. She works with private clients to write their content and manage their social media, while also co-hosting two podcasts, running a YouTube channel, and managing multiple blogs. Let's just say, she stays busy and wants to keep it that way. Kayla is an international speaker and an award-winning sex blogger. She believes we are stronger together as a community than we are isolated and apart. We all deserve to get paid for the work we do, but until we understand our cumulative power, we'll all wonder if we're "the only one" doing this smutlancing thing.

2 Responses

  1. Sassy Cat says:

    IMO the sex blogging community is cliquish. There are those subgroups like sex toy reviewers, bdsm/kink bloggers, podcasting sex bloggers, writers of erotica and the super popular elite sex bloggers and I’m sure I’m missing some smaller groups. Sometimes it reminds me of high school and there are those that still try to bully. I think that when someone first starts out blogging they look to connect but can easily get discouraged when they don’t feel welcome or feel like they’re not accepted or fit in. If a person doesn’t find friendship within the community, there is no support for them so sometimes they may quit. I have left to find more Latina sex bloggers. (Its late and my thoughts are all over, sorry)

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I don’t deny that there are cliques and there are definite bullies. It doesn’t just impact newer bloggers, either. I have absolutely felt like I was on the outside with no way in to a group, so I can’t be surprised that others would feel that way.

      And that cliquey feel was at the stitching convention I went to, as well. Although I was in a good place to ignore it since I wasn’t completely alone.

      I don’t have reasonable advice on what to do, because my own method is to ignore the cliques and create my own friend group — erotica writers, sex toy reviewers, kinksters, podcasters, all are welcome…but that can still create the perception of another clique. I guess the best way to combat that is for people within those groups to look outside the group and be inviting and welcoming to new people. But where people gather, they will always group together in some way. But you’re giving me thoughts and maybe I can write a post or record an episode about it in the future — once I figure out what I think about it all, beyond the community could do better at welcoming new people.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.