What I Learned About the Sex Blogging Community from a Cross-Stitch Convention

Kayla Lords

I am an erotic author, sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, an opinionated marketer, and a speaker with a focus on BDSM and D/s. Here at The Smutlancer, I help people who want to create content or products about sex get paid to do it. I'm sharing what I've learned as a freelancer and a sex blogger to build a career. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences and helping kinksters have healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone.

2 Responses

  1. Sassy Cat says:

    IMO the sex blogging community is cliquish. There are those subgroups like sex toy reviewers, bdsm/kink bloggers, podcasting sex bloggers, writers of erotica and the super popular elite sex bloggers and I’m sure I’m missing some smaller groups. Sometimes it reminds me of high school and there are those that still try to bully. I think that when someone first starts out blogging they look to connect but can easily get discouraged when they don’t feel welcome or feel like they’re not accepted or fit in. If a person doesn’t find friendship within the community, there is no support for them so sometimes they may quit. I have left to find more Latina sex bloggers. (Its late and my thoughts are all over, sorry)

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I don’t deny that there are cliques and there are definite bullies. It doesn’t just impact newer bloggers, either. I have absolutely felt like I was on the outside with no way in to a group, so I can’t be surprised that others would feel that way.

      And that cliquey feel was at the stitching convention I went to, as well. Although I was in a good place to ignore it since I wasn’t completely alone.

      I don’t have reasonable advice on what to do, because my own method is to ignore the cliques and create my own friend group — erotica writers, sex toy reviewers, kinksters, podcasters, all are welcome…but that can still create the perception of another clique. I guess the best way to combat that is for people within those groups to look outside the group and be inviting and welcoming to new people. But where people gather, they will always group together in some way. But you’re giving me thoughts and maybe I can write a post or record an episode about it in the future — once I figure out what I think about it all, beyond the community could do better at welcoming new people.

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