Weeding Out Legitimate Offers from the BS Offers

Anytime sex is involved, it’s an easy assumption that someone shady is going to message you. If you’ve been a sex blogger or creator long enough, you’re almost used to the random dick pics or the “Hey” messages you get on any (and every) social media outlet. My Dominant friends also get the, “I’ll do anything you want” messages so let’s not forget those. They’re invasive, annoying, harmful, maddening, and all of the above.

It also means that, over time, we learn to be skeptical in a way that most other people aren’t. We read between the lines and develop radar for who’s real and who isn’t. There’s good reason for this.

Shady messages don’t stop at sex. They creep into the work we do as well – writing, photography, you name it. An email comes through and it just sounds…off.

After hundreds of shady messages from random creeps, it’s easy to have your guard up when a less than professional email request comes through for potential work.

What do you do about? Ultimately, you have to do what works best for you. If you’re unsure, here’s what I do.

Treat Every Message Like It’s Legitimate

Okay, not every email. The Nigerian prince who left me one zillion dollars is an automatic delete. But what about the poorly written email asking if they can “buy a link?” Unless every cell in my body screams at me to delete it, I answer them as a professional. Do I let some sit until I’m ready to respond? Yes. And some get answered right away because it’s a brand I love or a type of work I know I want to do. But they all get answered.

Share What You Will Do

The “can I buy link placement” request seems to be the most common request I get. Since all my paid content links are nofollow, I don’t sell link placement. But I offer sponsored content placement on my website. Instead of coming back with “No” or ignoring the message, I tell them exactly what they can purchase and for how much. When the request is a bit vaguer like “Do you offer advertisements or promotions,” I include the total list of what’s available across my websites.

Weed ‘Em Out

Why do I go through all of this when I’m not sure an offer is legitimate? Because you can’t always tell. What talks is money. Plenty of email requests aren’t serious, but you never know who may be. You’ll never hear back from the people who thought they would get something for nothing. But you’ll always hear back from the people who have real money to spend. By giving real answers to everyone, the people who really do want to work with you rise to the top and the rest are weeded out.

You Can’t Always Tell Who’s Legit

I’ve received requests with broken English that turned out to be from legitimate companies. At the same time, I’ve gotten detailed offers that turned out to be bullshit – mostly because they thought I’d accept pennies. If I treat every request as if it’s legitimate, I’m not making a judgement call about the person on the other side of the email. I’m treating them as my equal and a fellow professional. I’ll let their response (or lack thereof) determine who’s worth my time and who isn’t.

It’s Good Practice

Responding to every email about advertisement and content as if it’s legitimate means I send out a lot more than I receive in return. I won’t pretend otherwise. After all this time, though, these responses have become easier to write. I’ve got a system of how to respond based on what the original request is. I’ve learned how to communicate with potential advertisers in a professional and friendly way that, usually, gets good responses from the legit offers. None of my time and effort are wasted because it all helps me become more comfortable talking about rates, opportunities, and stats with someone who might pay me money.

Does it get tedious to send out emails that you know probably won’t get a response? A little. But does it mean that I’m pleasantly surprised when I get an interested reply and end up with a paid gig? Hell yes.

Making money as a sex blogger is all about the hustle. So while you have to be smart with your time and careful with the brands you associate with, you also need to meet people where they’re at. If an email comes through that doesn’t send up major red flags, I’ll respond to it and see where it takes me.

Kayla Lords

Kayla Lords is a freelance sex writer, podcaster, blogger, all-around sex content creating human, and she really likes creating content. As a writer, she focuses on sex and kink primarily on BDSM and power exchange. She works with private clients to write their content and manage their social media, while also co-hosting two podcasts, running a YouTube channel, and managing multiple blogs. Let's just say, she stays busy and wants to keep it that way. Kayla is an international speaker and an award-winning sex blogger. She believes we are stronger together as a community than we are isolated and apart. We all deserve to get paid for the work we do, but until we understand our cumulative power, we'll all wonder if we're "the only one" doing this smutlancing thing.

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